


You, Him, and Me

by foreverwayward



Series: You, Him, and Me [1]
Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverwayward/pseuds/foreverwayward
Summary: Y/N turned out to be the missing piece the Winchesters had always hoped would find them. Bonds have been made and friendships grew to more than they were prepared for. The family quickly became a love triangle consumed by longing and broken hearts. Y/N is Dean’s world. Y/N is Sam’s world. But who is hers?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Sam Winchester/Reader
Series: You, Him, and Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628926
Kudos: 25





	1. The Truth

The three of them had been so close over the last year since they met on a werewolf hunt. So close, that Y/N even moved in with the Winchesters only three months later. But things had been weird in the bunker for weeks and she couldn’t put her finger on why Sam and Dean had been acting so strangely.

Excuse after excuse came one after another about why the brothers didn’t want them all to spend time together. They were always in their rooms more, talking less, avoiding eye contact, and there was a strange tension. Y/N kept wondering what she could have possibly done wrong. What had changed?

It had been a long hunt filled with awkward silences, and the hunters all quietly headed into the bunker. Without a word, they went in their separate directions to got cleaned up and into more comfortable clothes. Y/N stood in the shower as the hot water fell on her back and she realized she had had enough. It was time to confront Sam and Dean; whatever was between them all, would end that night.

After changing into her favorite flannel pajama pants and Metallica t-shirt, Y/N’s sock-covered feet softly went down the hall towards the kitchen. Hushed and deep voices came from nearby and she crept up on them. Trying to remain as quiet as possible, she listened in.

“We have to tell her, Dean,” Sam said with a sigh.

Dean scoffed. “Oh, sure. ‘Cause _that’ll_ go over well.”

“You think Y/N hasn’t noticed how different things have been? How different _we’ve_ been?”

“Well, yeah. She’s a smart girl. But telling her is just gonna make things worse, Sammy.”

The sound of pouring tea drug along with Sam’s words. “I think we’re already doing that.”

She couldn’t take it anymore. Y/N marched into the kitchen and folded her arms as she gave Sam and Dean a firm look. “Well, I’m here. So…just get it over with.”

The Winchester’s looked at each other, completely caught off guard. “Uh, what–what are you talking about?” Dean asked gruffly.

“Things have obviously changed! You guys don’t even wanna be around me anymore. I walk in and the room goes dead. It’s driving me insane! Do you want me to move out or something?”

“No!” they both said in unison. Sam put down his tea and leaned against the counter as Dean ran a hand over his face. The two couldn’t find the words but knew that if they didn’t say something, they’d end up losing Y/N.

Dean motioned toward the kitchen barstool. “Sit down, sweetheart. You’re right. We gotta talk.” Nervously, she sat and a lump grew in her throat as the brothers joined her. The oldest Winchester sat on the stool at her side and Sam stayed resting against the countertop. “Sam, and I–” Dean groaned and dropped his head before pinching the bridge of his nose. “God, I knew this was gonna be hard.”

“Stop walking on eggshells and just spit it out already. You two are stressing the crap outta me.”

“Alright. Alright.” Sam sighed before looking at her. “A few weeks ago, Dean and I had a talk. We uh–we both realized that there was something we had in common. But it was also something that was gonna be a big problem.”

“…okay?”

With a soft hand, Dean put his on top of Y/N’s as it rested on the counter. “The last year with you has made us both happier than we’ve been in…so long. We love having you here and we wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“…but?”

Sam’s eyebrows scrunched. “But…Dean and I…we, uh–we _both_ have feelings for you.”

Silence fell amongst the three hunters when no one knew what to say. “Feelings?” Y/N asked.

“We’re both in love with you,” Dean blurted out with a very calm voice and matter of fact face.

Y/N’s neck snapped in his direction with shock in her eyes. “… _what_?”

“Yeah. And, look–we’re sorry for springing this on you. The plan was, neither of us was gonna do anything about it. We were just gonna let it go. But–obviously, what we’re doing isn’t working and it’s only making things worse.”

With sweetness in his voice, Sam jumped in. “But, please don’t think we’re asking you to choose. That’s not what this is. We just kinda suck at hiding stuff from you.” When she didn’t say anything, Sam and Dean shot each other a look of worry.

“I–” she stammered. “I need some time to think about this.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Dean told her. “Totally understand.”

Y/N hopped down off the stool and slowly began to walk away. She turned to them one last time with an almost sad, “goodnight.”

“Night,” they uttered.

* * *

Sam and Dean sat at the library table. They both were supposed to be working on research for a possible case, but neither could focus with the lingering questions in the air. A sound came from down the hall and they both jumped to stand when they say Y/N come in; her duffle bags in her hands.

“Where are you going?” Sam questioned almost panicky.

“I can’t do this,” Y/N could barely choke out as her eyes welled with tears. “I have to go.”

Dean rushed to her side and looked down at her lovingly. “Sweetheart, we are so sorry if we made you uncomfortable. Please–please don’t go.”

“It’s not about what you said. Well–it’s only partly because of that.” Y/N sniffled as Sam came closer to her as well. “For _months_ , I’ve been in love with one of you. So much so that I envision a life with you. I dream about it and hope for it every day, wondering if you feel the same. And now that I do, every part of me wants to tell you exactly how I feel. But–” her eyes fell as a tear rolled down her cheek. “The other? Is my brother. I love you…but in _such_ a different way.” Sam and Dean both shifted on their feet and swallowed hard at her words. “And I don’t have the heart to tell you which one of you is which. I could never forgive myself for coming between you two.”

“It’s not like that,” Sam nearly pleaded. “We can just move on from this–let it go and go back to how it was.”

“No…” she whispered. “We can’t. My heart is breaking at the thought of losing you two, but this just isn’t a good idea anymore. We said I’d live here for as long as it worked and I guess it just stopped working. I have to go…” Y/N muttered as she began to walk away.

“Stop!” Dean shouted as he went to catch up with her. He took her arm in his hand as she gazed up at him with tears in his eyes. “Please don’t go.”

Her face was soaked with tears and she fought the urge to sob in front of them. She looked at Sam and tried to smile. “I love you.” Then with one more look to Dean, she gave him the same forced expression. “I love you.” Without another word, she hurried down the hall towards the garage and didn’t look back.

Sam leaned against the wall and his head fell back against it as he tried to control his heartache. With a swipe across the table, Dean sent the papers that rested there onto the floor in anger. He leaned down onto the surface with ragged breathing and let his head fall.

Chasing after her wasn’t an option and Sam and Dean knew it. Once Y/N set her mind to something, there was nothing that would change it. There was a loud clanging in the distance as the door slammed shut behind her. It echoed throughout the space and the brothers jolted at the sound. The stillness immediately after served as a painful reminder of the new emptiness in their home. Y/N was gone and there was no going back.

Love had brought them together, and it was love that tore them apart.


	2. I Choose You

The ticking antique clock of the bunker library echoed softly as Sam and Dean sat drinking their coffee. Their minds were far from the job as they poured over old books of lore. It had been a month since they had last spoken to Y/N; a whole month since she left home.

Sam and Dean had spoken less and less over those several weeks with both of them missing Y/N more with every day. They had kept their feelings to themselves, not wanting to actually talk about what had happened when Y/N left. The brothers were in love with the same woman and there was no changing that. To both of them, she was “the one”. 

Lost in their thoughts, the Winchesters jumped at the loud bang on the metal door. They shared a look, grabbed their guns and made their way up the winding staircase. Ready for whoever, or whatever. was outside, Dean opened the door.

The pouring rain accompanied the loud thunder that rolled in the darkness as a figure stood in the doorway with their head hung. After a minute, the stranger’s head lifted to reveal Y/N’s beaten and bloody face. Sam and Dean nearly gasped in shock.

“Oh, my god…” Sam said softly at the realization.

“Sam…Dean…” Y/N could barely get the words out before she began to collapse. Both Sam and Dean reached out to grab her in time. She was soaked from the storm and had blood on her clothes.

Dean scooped her up and held her close as Sam closed the door. The two met the other’s gaze as they panted in worry; their chests rapidly rising and falling but with no words between them.

* * *

It had been a few hours since Y/N’s return to the bunker. The brothers had gotten her settled into her old room so she could rest. They gently cleaned the blood from her cheeks and lip after tending to the stab wound in her abdomen.

“What the hell happened to her?” Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. “I wish I knew.”

Y/N’s eyes gently fluttered open as a soft groan escaped her throat. The boys had to catch their breaths when they saw her Y/E/C eyes staring back at them. “Hi…” she said weakly. The Winchesters let out sighs of relief as they rushed to sit on either side of the bed.

“Hey, kid,” Dean replied as he brushed her hair away from her face. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

She chuckled and coughed at the pain it caused in her gut. “Don’t make me laugh.”

Sam smiled as he looked down at her. He thought he remembered how beautiful she was, but realized his memories of her paled in comparison. Even bruised and beaten, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

All Dean could do was stare into her eyes; they felt like home to him. It was like he could breathe again with her back. For the first time in weeks, he smiled as he took one of her hands. “You scared the crap outta us, you know that?”

“I’m sorry. I had nowhere else to go–”

Interrupting her, Sam tried not to seem too eager, “no. We’re glad you did.”

“You gonna tell us what happened?” Dean could barely contain his excitement with her beside him again. He wanted to hold her more than he’d ever wanted anything.

Y/N sighed. “I got my ass handed to me by a ghoul.” She hissed through her teeth in pain as she struggled to get up. Sam and Dean went to help, but she put out a hand for them to stop. “I’m fine. I’m fine, I promise,” she groaned.

“And the ghoul?”

“I may have been beaten to a pulp, but you really think I’d leave a job unfinished?”

Dean couldn’t help the grin that grew on his face. “That’s my girl.”

Even with an innocent comment like that, Sam looked at his brother realizing how much those words bothered him. “ _His_ ” girl. It would kill him for that to be true. But, clearing his throat, he pushed past the thought. “Well, you need rest.” Sam put his large hand on top of hers with a gentle and loving squeeze. “We’ll be right outside. Let us know if you need anything, okay?” Y/N nodded and without thinking, Sam leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

The older brother scrunched his lips trying not to let such a small gesture get to him. “Uh, yeah–and I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.”

As the two reached the door, “guys…” Y/N’s soft voice made them turn. She hesitated, but a sigh of relief hit her looking at them both. “I missed you.”

“We know the feeling,” Sam replied, trying to hide a smile.

* * *

Later that night, Dean softly knocked on Y/N’s opened door as he stepped inside. “Hey, hope I didn’t wake you.” His hands were filled with bandages and supplies he would need to redress her wound.

“No. Couldn’t sleep.” She patted the bed beside her.

Dean’s heart began to race as he went to her side and sat down on the bed. His hand reached for the hem of her shirt and he met her eyes. “Can I…?” Y/N nodded at his request and Dean lifted her shirt just enough to see her injury. His calloused and large hands ghosted over her skin before his fingers touched her stomach. Feeling her warmth set a fire in him and he cleared his throat trying to keep his calm. “I, uh–didn’t think you were coming back,” Dean told her.

“Yeah,” Y/N seethed through her teeth as Dean removed the bandage. “Neither did I.”

After cleaning the area and reapplying fresh bandages, Dean couldn’t help the way his fingers lingered against her. It was the closest he had been to her in months and he ached to touch her. “Look, Y/N, I’m sorry. I–”

Y/N lifted a hand to put on the hunter’s chest. “Dean…” When his eyes met hers, she smiled. “It’s okay. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“No, you did nothing wrong. Sam and I–”

“I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I know that. I just…” her voice trailed off as she licked her bottom lip in thought. “I just didn’t know how to handle it all.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, join the club.”

Silence fell between them and Dean felt a gentle touch on his hand. He watched as her hand laid on his and softly rubbed his skin. Dean looked up at her and he could feel himself shake at her touch. “Please,” he almost begged. “Please don’t leave me again.”

The hand that had found his, went up to cup his cheek. Dean closed his eyes soaking in everything that Y/N was. Her smell was intoxicating and he had forgotten the spell she held over him. “I’m not going anywhere, Dean.”

With his eyes aching with tears he had held in for too long, Dean’s gaze met hers. HIs hand trembled and he stumbled on his words. “I,–uh…” He wouldn’t cry in front of her; that couldn’t happen. “I missed you, Y/N,” he told her in a broken voice.

“Me, too.”

The hunters were lost in each other’s eyes as peace fell over them for the first time in a month. There was an unspoken tension between them and Dean slowly inched his way closer to her. Y/N’s hand moved to his chest as the Winchester hesitantly leaned in. Dean hoped and prayed in those few seconds that he wasn’t making a mistake; that she would feel the same way. Their lips hovered over each other’s and their breathing quickened.

With his nerves on edge, Dean surrendered and whispered, “I love you.”

The sound of his voice and the heat of his breath sent shivers down her spine. She took in his smell; the mix of whiskey and mint on his breath, and the remaining evidence of his work in the garage. Y/N felt the familiar ache he had always given her and finally conceded. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped him before his hands grabbed both sides of her face and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. The two melted into each other as Y/N’s fingers intertwined into Dean’s hair. Finally, able to be together, the two were lost in the moment. The job, the pain, the loneliness…it all went away. Nothing else mattered.

Carrying a tray of food he had made for Y/N, Sam froze at the doorway. His heart stopped as he watched the woman he loved lost in the embrace of his brother.

Trying to control his urge to cry, Sam quietly moved away, unable to stand another moment looking at them. He went to the kitchen and placed the tray on the counter with defeat. His heart was breaking and it cut him deeper than he knew was possible. Dean was the one Y/N had wanted a life with. _He_ was the one that she longed for. And Sam–Sam was her brother.

The large hunter’s back leaned against the wall before he slumped down to the floor. Above him, at the counter’s edge, sat a bottle of whiskey. Sam took it in his hand and unscrewed the lid before taking a long and lingering drink. A tear fell down his cheek as he sat alone in the darkness. At least alone, Y/N would never see him cry.


	3. Or Did I Choose You?

##  **_Or is THIS how it really happened…?_ **

It had been nearly two months since Y/N had left the bunker; leaving Sam and Dean constantly hanging on her last words to them. Though the brothers never spoke of it, the tension between them was clearly there. They seemed to talk less with them both trying to cope with losing her.

The bunker was quieter without her; empty even. Her laughs or the sound of her singing carelessly in the shower used to fill the halls. Without them, the silence was almost deafening. Even as a hunter who had known more pain than anyone should ever know, Y/N held onto hope and helped the Winchesters find the joy they were missing in their lives.

As Sam sat at his usual spot in the library, Dean walked in with his laptop. He cleared his throat and sat down. Things seemed to almost be awkward between them.

“I uh–think I found us a case,” Dean said as he turned the monitor to face his brother.

Sam pulled it toward himself and read it quietly. “Vamps?”

“Looks like. Six deaths in the last three months; all sucked dry, and all within a twenty-mile radius.”

“So, we’re looking at a nest most likely.”

Dean nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking. Did some recon, and I think I pinpointed their location. It’s only a couple hours drive, wanna head out?” He stood to leave only waiting for Sam’s reply.

Needing the distraction, Sam closed his books and sighed. “Yeah, sure.”

“Wheels up in ten,” Dean told him over his shoulder as he walked away.

* * *

Sam and Dean had left the Impala nearly half a mile away from the abandoned building Dean had found. They armed themselves with blades and a machete dipped in dead man’s blood, but not forgetting the Colt. Moving quietly and diligently, they climbed the stairs; their boots making little to no sound.

A loud crash came from several flights up and the brothers shared a look before rushing up the stairs in its direction. The obvious grunts and sound of snarls and breaking objects grew as the Winchester’s realized they were walking into a brawl.

The ruckus died down as they reached the top floor and neared the large, rusted double doors. With each of them on opposite sides of the entrance, they nodded to each other before kicking it in, ready for the fight.

Both of the brothers stood frozen in shock and lowered their weapons seeing Y/N spin around effortlessly as her machete sliced off the head of the remaining vampire. She panted heavily; the bodies of several vampires littering the room.

“Y/N…?” Sam asked softly.

She turned in their direction, her breathing still staggered, her clothes and face covered in blood. “Sam? …Dean?”

Dean’s eyes blinked rapidly as if he was shocked and trying to absorb what was happening. “Holy hell, Y/N/N. You did this?”

“Well, you never let me off my leash much, did you?” Y/N squatted down and wiped the blade clean using the coat of one of the dead creatures.

“…clearly,” he scoffed with a smile.

Sam and Dean couldn’t help the grins that grew on their faces. Y/N always impressed them in everything she did. She was well trained and knew the job better than most hunters; even better than the Winchesters at times. And more than that, even splattered in blood, she was the most beautiful woman either of them had ever seen. Their hearts always seemed to stop whenever Y/N was around.

“I should go,” Y/N said softly as she went to grab her gear she had tossed to the side in the fray.

Unable to keep his mouth shut, Sam stopped her as she went for the door. “Y/N, can’t we–” he paused and took a breath trying to think through what he should say. “Can’t we talk?”

“Guys, there’s nothing to say. Please…let’s not do this.”

Dean wasn’t going to let her go that easily; not like he did last time. “Fine, no talking, okay? Where are you staying?”

“Just been sleeping in the car.”

“Alright, how about you just come back to the bunker, get cleaned up and get some rest? We won’t push anything else.” The three went silent as Y/N threw flung duffle bag over her shoulder. “Promise.”

She sighed. “Okay. _One_ night.”

Trying not to seem too eager, Sam and Dean left it at that as she walked ahead of them and started down the stairs. They both turned to each other and shared a knowing look. Both of them wanted Y/N home, but they knew…nothing had changed.

* * *

Late that night, Sam heard a noise coming from the library. In his sweats, t-shirt, and socks, he left his room and made his way toward the noise. Though massive in every way, it was incredible how little noise Sam made coming down the hall.

As he turned the corner and looked into the library, he saw Y/N; her hair up in a bun and still damp from her shower. She was in a fitted tank-top and favorite pair of pajama pants as she sat reading. How much she loved books was one of the many things that Sam adored about her. 

Sam forgot how much he missed the little things she brought to their home. Even just the sight of her cross-legged and curled up with a book brought a smile to the hunter’s face. Y/N was even more stunning than he remembered.

Clearing his throat, hoping to get her attention, Sam stood in the entryway. When she turned to the sound, he half-smiled. “Back in your natural habitat already, huh?”

“Seems as though,” she said sharing the same forced grin.

As he walked in, he nodded toward a chair nearby. “You mind if I…?”

“Go for it,” Y/N replied with a hand gesturing for him to join her.

Sam settled into his seat nervously; his eyes never drifting from her. He noted everything about her and studied her features worried he would have only those memories to go on if she left again.

A small strand of hair that always fell on her face, curled near her eye. Y/N’s smaller, but trained hands held her book like you would a treasured item. He even noticed the chipped nail polish on her fingers from after the hunt. Sam waited, knowing exactly what she would do once she was lost in the pages in front of her. She bit her lip as she focused and it made his heart race. Every part of her seemed to have been tailored to make Sam fall in love with her.

Clearing his throat again anxiously, he worked up the courage to talk to her. “It’s good to see you.”

Y/N closed the book as she marked the page and sat it in her lap. “You too, Sam.”

He chuckled nervously. “I don’t know how to act around you anymore. I mean, it just feels…different now, ya know?”

“Yeah…” she nodded softly. “I know what you mean.” When it went quiet, Y/N stood from her chair and began to walk across the wooden floors. “Well, goodnight.”

Sam mustered up all of his courage and his chair squeaked on the floor as he stood quickly. “Y/N…” She turned to face him and he tried to steady his racing heart as he slowly made his way toward her. “It hasn’t been the same without you.”

“It hasn’t been the same without you,” she replied gently.

“I mean it,” Sam said still easing his way in her direction. Their eyes were locked on each other and the tension between them grew. “This place…it just isn’t home without you.”

As he towered over her, Y/N felt her pulse rise and she gulped with Sam as close as he was. His large hand went up to her face and adjusted the fallen strand of hair back to its rightful place. But he lingered there as his thumb grazed her jawline.

When she didn’t pull away and stared into his eyes, Sam felt a pull between them. And without thought, he bent down to softly kiss her. Everything inside him was terrified of the possible rejection, but the ache his lips felt for hers was too strong for him to fight.

It only took a second before Sam felt Y/N melt into it as she tenderly kissed him in return. His right hand hooked behind her neck and his left took her waist; pulling her as close as he could.

The passion between them grew and as the kiss intensified, the two hunters practically moaned into each other’s mouths. Sam scooped her up to hold her thighs as her legs wrapped around his waist. He spun around and sat her on the table next to them as the two got lost in the most fervent kiss either had ever experienced.

They broke apart with heavy breaths as Sam looked Y/N in the eye. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

And with those words finally spoken, the hunters’ lips crashed back together as they tugged each other closer and closer.

Dean stood in the hallway, frozen. His heart sank as he watched the only woman he had ever loved in a passionate embrace with his brother. He quietly stepped back into the shadows not wanting to be noticed as a tear fell from his eyes.

Closing his bedroom door behind him, Dean went to the sink and leaned onto the cold porcelain. His glance peered up as he looked at his reflection. The Winchester’s jaw ticked and his emotions took hold as his heartache turned to rage. Sam had gone back on his word that neither of them would go after her. Without thought, his fist slammed into the mirror and shattered the glass. His reflection looked broken and distorted as he looked back at himself. Dean’s eyes were red as he struggled not to cry; he didn’t even notice the blood that dripped from his knuckles.

With somber steps, Dean went to the side of his bed and sat down. His head fell until the frame on the side table caught his eye. It was his favorite picture; the one of him standing in front of the Impala smiling from ear to ear with Y/N in front of him, his arms wrapped around her.

He picked up the picture and ran his thumb over her face; the ache in his heart continuing to grow. Dean knew how deeply he loved Y/N and how she was the only woman he had ever wanted. After seeing her and Sam together, he realized that he would never have her, and it tore him apart from the inside out.

Dean held the frame in both hands, clinging to the closest thing he had to holding her in his arms again. Tears streamed down his face and dropped onto the glass as he silently wept alone in his room. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone. But she would be the one he watched slip through his fingers and into the arms of his brother.

Feeling forgotten and broken, Dean lovingly looked at her face one more time before putting the picture back in its rightful spot on the nightstand. He drug his palm down his face as he wiped away the tears; the sound of her soft laugh echoing down the hallway.


End file.
